Cracked Doorway

Stopped fighting against the past, leaving her where she lies.  In the back of my mind, in those memories, this is where she will reside.  Again I am tired of fighting to move forward in my life, why is it such of an ongoing bout of strife?  It should not take all the energy in my body to progress; it should not take away all my strength with this stress.  I believe in myself and I do not let that falter, well sometimes I stumble when thrust before the alter, it is as if I am destined to fail with the mentality of success, so what if I change my mentality to dejection, will that get me out of this mess?  I want to look at situations with optimism and take that light to my goal, in the end, I am slapped in the face with opposition and my eyes are blind to the world.  Unable to see what I want but my heart still feels it exists, I am unable to feel how I want, yet my emotions cannot resist.  Resist the urge to live, to breathe, and to desire the air of the world; I miss feeling loved dearly, I miss the feeling of someone thinking about me.  Among that I miss the feeling of camaraderie, it is an exceptional feeling to know there is someone standing beside me, now all I have is the breeze, cold and lonely, my existence consists of a single one, me, the one and only.  It takes a choice to be in a life, it takes a choice to build with the time, the choices made towards me are to turn away, run and hide, lash out and attack, leave and say goodbye.

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