I am beginning to wonder if you understand the prowess I hold. I think sometimes you forget the individual before you is more teacher than student, more of a leader than a follower. You tend to forget that my goal is to bring you back to what is real, away from the life of lies and falsehood and false love you once dwelled within. I have my own mind and will take my time with my actions of romance, I do need a capable partner for this dance. An obvious mistake I made many times before was being that person that always gave someone, who would not decide for themselves, everything they wanted. That type of person who refuses to accept their wants, asks for nothing yet secretly confuses themselves with if they even desire it or not. In the end, she never made the decision to do anything she wanted in regards to me, to us, to the relationship we were involved in. Could be more about me as a person and just that I do not deserve individual action of attraction, could be with me she never wanted anything for me, whichever the instance; it shows how much easier it is to take the world if it is being handed to you. A different story to accept that you want the world and then to go after it. What we are inside of is a continuous life lesson that you desperately need more than you admit. It is interesting how so many pieces of your life you state do not fit properly with you, yet I do; however, you want to toss me in the pile with the mismatch shapes. You want me to not fit, to be more of the same that you already had. I suppose it does make more sense. If you in your life refuse to go after what you want and rather allow yourself to be guided by those who you know do not have your best interest at heart purely because they give you an idea and see no reason to do otherwise since you have no original thought of your own, why deal with someone and have them want you to have original thoughts. Why not just make that person another one who gives you their original thoughts and therefore, you never have to have one. True desire is not a reaction to something, if you really feel strongly about it you bring it you versus waiting for the world to live your life for you. For circumstances that put you against the wall to happen before you determine you want something, for you to have more and more regrets than actually going with your own wants and mind, instead of consistently regretting and feeling miserable with your choice because you just gave your choice away to someone else.
Just letting you know, someone might want to just give you things you wanted
do those things on spontaneous thoughts alone
if you had an actual thought
of your own.