My Muse

This is what you state is your desire
the yearning to be the one set to inspire
giving me more and more pieces to write
yet can you accept my truth with all your might?

The pain I feel creeps up consistently
tight and piercing in my chest repeatedly
my heart is glass shards ripping through the inside
my spirit weak and frail, it curls up and cries

Simple desires of respect, appreciation, and attention
these come back to me in the form of argumentation
moments of truth are pushed to moments of distraction
in the end, the cycle continues as there is no resolution

Alone, I sit in this home built for more
Alone, I pack up my life, sleeping on the floor
Alone, I struggle with balancing stress and pain
Alone, yet this situation is supposed to be the change

The change from my life being so empty
to be filled with being loved and intimacy
yet so far all it has been is fleeting moments
purely from need, no moments of enjoyment

Speech from necessity not for conversation
not even close to a priority, obviously the disregarded option
comes last no matter the circumstances
yet I am bashed for being selfish

Putting my needs, desires, wants, and wishes to the side
so many inconveniences I keep quiet, hold them inside
my time, my feelings, emotions, and everything irrelevant
yet I am the monster whenever I speak, I create the damage

Yes, my muse, I am inspired

Inspired to cry, to disappear, to crawl in a ball and block out the world
Inspired to these feelings of hopelessness, emptiness, and more
Inspired to feel I will never be enough, giving you my all is useless
this is how it is to be the one inspired purely by pain and stress




Light the Future

Is it that you want what you feel you do not deserve

what you did not earn

what you did not work hard enough for

through all the trials and tribulations

the pain and agony you experienced

the abuse and stress, the insults and disrespect

you think you are still unworthy of brighter days

in front of you lies the doorway

in front of you lies the path

you have the candles in one hand

in the other, you have the match

whether you choose to move forward

disperse the darkness, the shadows, the mystery that lies in the black

in the metaphor, remove the regret, the shame, the doubt

strike the match and use this light and positive outlook to press on

do not give more fuel to the fire of the past life

your time there is done

just as a candle wick burns lower as time marches on

march forward with purpose to open that door

where the brightness of joy stays on

your face, your smile, your glow that you carry with you daily

your pride and your security that you will embrace strongly

move forward through the hurdles from your past

lighting your way in to your future

allowing the candle to be your guide

to the future in which you wish to reside.