I Used to Be

We stare into the sky and we think of what we would like to be

We stare into the ceiling while we lay to fall asleep

I remember who I used to be, this strong and patient man who you held in esteem

I used to be a great person and individual who held a place in your heart

I used to be an individual who you felt in which you could never be apart

yet that was only when I did what you sought for me to do

when you could take and take from me as you saw fit, as long as I helped you

available for your every need and want, even those that should not come to me

My heart was left to die in the wake of your needs and lack of concern for mine

leaving was the only course to take to attempt to regain a part of self

yet in your time of dire need, I stood by your side

came back to where I should not reside

informed you of true emotion that you did not earn by rite or trust

I wanted you to know that you were cared for and that your anger and pain

were the reason why this relationship died and waned, too much strain

My apologies to you because I should have just stayed away

I wanted to be there for you because I knew you would need someone in that way

I used to be a great man, then I became a pawn in the chess game of your land

with the love I showed you I became just another piece of marble in your hand

unfortunately broken and shattered became the knight that was advanced

destroyed purposely by the Queen meant to be protected out of fear of the past

I used to be a good man, I used to be a man with power

I used to a strong man, I will become more

I will be a great man, a man who not only has power but powerful and wise

I will be even stronger, I will learn and grow further

unfortunately this cannot occur with someone who tears down more than they build

I will pray that you will become all that I could see potentially within you

stated to me that my purpose in leaving is for the best of self

if I am dealing with someone who does not put my best interest first

then I must

otherwise, I will remain who I used to be

 

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