Mind of a Poet #15

Choices, that come within the everyday going of the world
today and today and today will never seem the same as the other day or yesterday
and when you begin to realize that more than you do, the air in front of you, your mind
slowly starts to deteriorate. I have to make decisions and always use my faith and religion
and not to mention the strength that God has given me. Everything all comes back to the
free will to decide and choose something. I can risk my life and continue to survive in the
terms of society, or I can wait patiently and continue to survive mentally. Interesting how
I can be questioned day and night by people, look through my eyes and see clearly
there are things you don’t understand because you never been there, your mind
is closed from the opportunity for the impossible or more importantly, the
improbable. As all things return from the sea, we will return to dust, our lives are just
a steady flow of waves and grains of sand, we are, in fact, dust in the wind
the wind blows and flows in a manner and path as well. So therefore, if I am the music
of the wind, then my path might not flow so easily as you might want it to, I may stray
from the contemporary rhythm that they want their life to go, I will always flow differently
Sometimes more fierce than others, more passionate than others, more transparent
and more loving than some believe they deserve, but I will continue to be that. Those that
remember me from my past, do not know me now, those that have met me in this present
do not know me at all, only those who listen and understand my trials from then until now,
those are who know me, those are who truly wish to understand me, for I was made
by the life I was forced to lead, how can you want to know me, if you don’t know what
created me. I see some things that others don’t see, even within their self, I see the chance
the aptitude for potential, if only it will be released. I had a former friend open up to me
she is still the love of my heart, and I can’t deny that, but she shared things with me, I will
always treasure that speech. She didn’t want a hardened heart, she didn’t want those
feelings to consume her. I didn’t tell her then, but I will say it now. What do you do when
your heart turns cold, when you mind turns black, and your eyes lose the glimmer that
once shone. You wake up everyday and look in a mirror, you look at yourself and think.
There is no one here because they choose not to need me, choose not to want me, they
choose to go elsewhere when I am here caring more about their feelings than any other
truly my mind always hopes for their happiness and comfort, truly I care far beyond the
trivial means that most say I should care, truly I love this person and wish to help them in
any possible way I can, and yet, I am never chosen. A choice is not a last resort, A
choice does not come from pity or guilt, a choice does not come through time either, a
choice is a true decision to live by regardless of what may become of it. Think of it in this
manner, when you wake up and choose what you want to eat, are you worried about
what it may be doing to your body ten years from now. When you pick the clothes you
will wear, do you wonder if you can fit them later on in your life. Of course not, those
choices lay within the realm of certainty. Something that we just know is correct and will
not fail or harm us in the end. It is so hard to live or reside in someone else’s lack of
certainty. When their mind is always wavering about you, thinks of you only during times
of absence, times of pain, times of strife, or simply times of remembrance. All painful
emotions or states of time, that all take away from the simple fact, you are not creating
a future or even utilizing the present with that person but moreover, reliving a past. All
three are one in the same in relationships, to progress forward, one must relive all that the
other person has lived throughout, only then can you truly begin to understand one another
To create a future, you must relive the past by utilizing the present.

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