Mind of a Poet #28

My job is to walk, to talk, to listen, to inspire, to redeem, to seek redemption, to become the word, to become the truth, to become that which is sought for the most, and throughout the time while I am working this job, I notice something.  I see beauty, grace, composure, serenity, that place that people search for all their life, just to close their eyes and be at peace with the world and all the things around them.  Some people are religious, some are spiritual, some are lovers, some are fighters, some are actual people who live this life we are blessed with, and some are those who are only surviving from day to day.  We are born, and as soon as we are, we are on the path to death, so why do I wait so much to speak up?  When we are babies, we want to explore, learn, find out all we can and be just like those larger humans we see around us.  We want to walk, we want to talk, we want to move around, we want to be held, we want to be kissed, we want to be loved, interesting how this still sounds like all I want.  I am an adult now, I know how to walk, but I want to walk into the woman who will soon love me.  I want to start up a conversation with someone who listens, and intensely appreciates the fact that I am listening to her as well.  I want to move around the town with someone enjoying and sharing to them all the beauty that they pass as they move on their fast paced day, or better yet, I want to move around town with someone who also appreciates the beautiful painting that God left for us to view.  I want to be held by someone who wants me holding them just as tightly because we equally want to comfort each other.  I want to experience a real kiss again, a kiss that excites passion, not lust, excites intimacy, a sensual expression of physical and emotional attachment.  I want to be loved, not just for what I can do for the woman, but because of whom I am spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  We never quit being babies, our bodies just grow, but the mindset of a child is the most intelligent.  Live to learn, not worrying about what will happen the next day, the next minute, the next second, but living exactly for the moment, because that is what we all should do; however, our aging mind that has also grown doesn’t allow us to do that.  There are bills, there is the need for money, there is the fact that we have to take care of ourselves, but interesting how each of us, instinctively enjoys a man or a woman who takes care of that necessity for us.  I mean think of it, we want our women to feel as if they are queens and princesses, and our men to feel as if we are kings, but doesn’t all those terms of royalty require some sense of servitude.  Of course, the servitude is not demeaning or even forceful, but we want it shown out of love as if we are true to ourselves, is how we will show it as well.  I personally attempt to give a woman all she would want, and wish that I could find me a woman to give me all she wants.  That is the way to truly say it.  Women want certain things, even if they don’t want to say it out loud but they all want some of the exact same things, well, I want the same things as them.  Funny thing is, men who get this treatment from women abuse it and then wonder why women don’t treat men like that.  Because they keep getting it thrown in their face.  It takes less time to change a woman in the way they treat someone than it takes a man, but either way, it is not good for us good men and for you good women.  I might not be for every woman, and every good woman is not for every good man, but we could use someone.  Some people don’t seem to understand, how strong the thought of suicide and death can be in someone, and also how hard it can be to continuously fight it everyday.  Some people get the fortunate experience of soon finding themselves a reason to live, their family, their children, their friends, and other causes, but what about those who never find that reason.  Those that are basically left to go each day searching for a reason but lacking the capacity to find one.  It takes a great deal of strength, faith, and perseverance to live each day wondering why you are still here.  Think of nature, if nature was weak, it would not have survived all these years, we would be living on dead terrain.  Survival instincts are strong in some, stronger in others, and in some are simply extraordinary.  The body takes on all burdens, the mind takes on all tests, and the soul takes in all the pain and becomes one with it.  Sadly enough, it takes a lot of good and a little bit of darkness to survive this harsh world today.  The key is to determine early before embracing the darkness, which one you will truly be devoted to.  If you choose the light, then the darkness will only cover part of you and you will have to use your mind to control it, or else your soul will be consumed by it completely.  However, if you choose the darkness as your provider, then your soul will be black and no amount of prayer or anything will be able to clear it away, there is the possibility that love may redeem you, but it just matters on how much it touches the small light inside of your soul.  I chose the light.

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